There’s one belief that seems to connect all musicians in their performance anxiety, something so deep-seated it’s almost like a shared secret. Knowingly or not, this limiting belief haunts even the greatest of musicians. It’s not something we talk about openly, but at some point in our performance career, we’ve all felt it.
For many of us, a feeling of not being worthy may not fall within our immediate awareness, but may routinely pervade our consciousness both on and off stage. As if coded into our DNA, it could be a relic from our tribal ancestors, when being unloved or cast out meant a very real threat to survival - even now, in our modern, non-tribal lives, this fear still grips us. Maybe it comes in fleeting moments, or perhaps it lingers in the background, shaping the way we see ourselves and the world.
After seven years of working with clients, I’m yet to meet a single musician who hasn’t wrestled with this fear in some way. As Carl Jung famously called it, it’s our “universal neurosis.” But what if this thing we’re all searching for - validation, approval, proof of our worth is something we’ve had inside us all along? Could it be that our self-worth is an innate quality, and not something we have to earn or chase after? And if that’s true, where does this persistent belief of unworthiness come from? Is it a pattern that’s been quietly running in the background of your life, shaping your beliefs about yourself, your abilities, and how you feel about yourself as a musician?
How My Lack Of Self-Belief Grew Into Performance Anxiety
It was through working with a hypnotherapist that I discovered that not feeling good enough was at the heart of my music performance anxiety. It was the year I turned 30, and a beautiful summer’s day. I was lying on my hypnotherapist’s couch in an old Georgian-style townhouse in London, with the warm sun filtering through the blinds, casting soft shadows on the room. I felt a mix of calm and nerves, aware but deeply relaxed, as my therapist gently guided me back to a subconscious memory.
“Think about the last time you were on stage,” he said. Instantly, I could feel it again - that tightness in my chest, the adrenaline in my stomach, the shaky feeling that seemed to creep through my body. We lingered in that space for a while, and then he took me further back, asking me to recall the first time I ever felt that way.
Suddenly, a scene began to unfold. I was in a classroom.
“Around what age are you here?” he asked softly.
“I must be 7,” I replied, feeling a wave of hesitation as the memory came into sharper focus.
“What’s happening?” he asked, with curiosity.
I hesitated. The memory felt so trivial. But still, I shared it.
“I’m standing in front of the whole class. The teacher’s making us sing ‘There’s a Hole in My Bucket,’ and now it’s my turn. But I’m frozen. I can’t sing. I don’t want to sing. I hate this song. And I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, waiting, staring.”
“And then what happens?” he asked, coaxing me deeper into the memory.
“The teacher… she’s getting angry. She’s shouting at me—‘Sing, girl, sing! What’s wrong with you? Are you mute?!’”
As I lay on the couch, I could feel the tears welling up. My 7-year-old self, standing there, small, terrified, and utterly alone. I wanted to reach out to that little girl and tell her she was okay. But in that moment, all I could feel was shame.
“Can you see a link between this moment and how you feel on stage today?” my therapist asked gently.
Without hesitating, I said, “Yes. It’s exactly the same feeling.”
And just like that, I saw everything. I saw how in that one childhood moment, the seeds of my performance anxiety had been planted. For years, I’d carried that belief with me - that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t capable, that I didn’t belong on stage. It had taken 23 years ,and the help of a brilliant therapist to transform it into something which no longer affected my current experience.
Hypnosis For Musicians: A Way To Overcome Music Performance Anxiety
The truth is, we all carry these moments - memories, beliefs, stories that shape how we see ourselves. But they can be changed for the better. For me, that moment in the classroom became a defining memory, one that told me I wasn’t good in front of others. Hypnotherapy taught me that belief wasn’t about me. It wasn’t the truth. It was just a story I’d told myself, one that had stuck with me for years, shaping my performances and my confidence.
Thankfully, with the guidance of my therapist, I was able to untangle that memory and rewrite the story. I could see that the teacher was harsh, maybe even cruel, and that I had reacted like any 7-year-old would. It wasn’t a reflection of my worth. And once I saw that under hypnosis, everything began to shift in my reality.
In those sessions with my hypnotherapist, we got right to the heart of my performance anxiety and transformed it. That single intervention opened up a whole new world for me. I no longer felt bound by the chains of unworthiness. Instead, I felt a growing sense of self-belief and possibility not just within my music, but my life as well.
Where Does Your Music Performance Anxiety Really Come From?
You might not know the origins of your performance anxiety yet. And that’s okay. Often, as it was for me, those origins are buried deep in your subconscious, hidden away by years of life experiences and coping mechanisms. But knowing this - that your anxiety likely stems from a belief in your own unworthiness, can be a powerful first step in unraveling those limiting thoughts.
In fact, once you begin to recognise that your brain is always searching for evidence to back up what you believe about yourself, it becomes easier to see how this pattern plays out in your day-to-day life. Your brain wants consistency - it will always look for things that match your existing beliefs. So, if you believe you’re not good enough, you’ll find proof of that everywhere.
But what if you could start creating new beliefs? What if you could plant new seeds of self-belief and begin to water them, instead of feeding your self-doubt?
Nurturing New Self-Confident Beliefs
Begin by noticing the times you compare yourself to others, the moments when you feel like you’re falling short. When you doubt your abilities or worry that you’re not good enough, pause for a moment. Catch yourself in the act. Ask yourself, “Does this thought truly reflect who I am today? Or is it an old belief, rooted in the past?”
The more you start to question these limiting beliefs, the more you’ll begin to unravel the negative patterns that hold you back. And remember, you don’t need the validation or approval of others to feel worthy. Your worth is something you’ve had all along.
Once you let go of the need for external validation, you’ll start to perform with a new sense of freedom. You won't just perform to get through it, you'll truly express yourself in the moment. And in that moment, you’ll realise that you were always enough.
I work with musicians one-to-one globally using the power of hypnosis. If you'd like targeted help to get to the root of your music performance anxiety, book a free initial conversation to start your journey.
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